First of all Angie you doll…thank you for your wonderful words of encouragement. Beautiful still thinking of you and your family and prayers for your future (or the ones you have now…wink) children.

So all is well. I only need to redo the CPR stuff and frankly that’s fine. I don’t really want to open a daycare, but I will if I must. I love kids, but truthfully I want to write for a living…and be my angel baby’s mom So postpone the CPR part is not prohibitive, but I need the certification to start the daycare.

Well…today was funny and strange…..somehow it came out in the group (part 2 of CPR/Daycare training) that I was a vegetarian and I have to say, while I am not necessarily considered a “minority” (but as a single mom with a biracial child and a bisexual um…let’s say best friend, I would beg to differ….but I digress) I felt kinda hurt today. I laughed it off well and was the darling of the class….so obviously my hurt didn’t show, but inside I felt the sting.

See I am a vegetarian cause I don’t believe in killing animals, it is a fundamental belief of mine. While I don’t mind others eating animals as they do not share my beliefs, I also would like them to respect that I do have reason for the way I believe.

Well….I was grilled…”surely I ate fish”….”was I healthy”….”my poor child”…..”vegetarians can be fat” (PS on that note I am finally losing weight….YEAH!) “you think you are so good….well carrots were once alive” etc. It was fine at first but started to veer towards offensive and really…..I wished I hadn’t said anything in the end.

Well I pick up my goofy diploma and the lead guy (who initiated the anti-vegi thing) pulls out a slab and I do mean SLAB of beef jerky the size of his head and starts to gnaw at it with his teeth. While most people are like…and your point is?

For a vegetarian who doesn’t believe in killing animals to watch (AND SMELL) this man rip, like a cave man into something that looked like the back of a cows leg made me sick. He added in one sentence I believe without taking a breath,  that PETA was the devil (while aggressive in their tactics, I don’t think they are demonic) and that what he loved most on earth was shooting deer and eating veal…..OH REALLY!!!!!

Gosh, Mr. 20 year old testosterone laden teacher guy, every time you speak I think of a thick headed, pea brained twit with a heart smaller that Mr. Grinch…..oooh is that wrong?

This has just not been my weekend AT ALL…..good thing it’s almost Monday….what? Oh Blahdy blah!

I am now just fantasizing about watching kiddo frolic through the desert, sleeping under the stars, having good wine and food with friends and snuggling HMG. Then off to Yosemite with my crazy beautiful family and all that great mountain love and watching my amazing little kiddo take it all in happiness.

And on a side note…..I feel a lot of relief just letting the pressure of India’s adoption go a bit….focusing on my career and my wonderful relationship with my daughter and knowing that my youngest daughter will come into my life and she will be so a perfect completion of our family….but letting God/Blue Fairy decide when time is right and making space for that right time….I feel as though a weight has been lifted from my shoulders…..I’m not like those super moms out there… I can’t raise a gillion kids as much as I would like to….I am a struggling (but not for long ) writer who writes a script and then some a month, parents a two year old completely by myself and will ABSOLUTELY WILL….be the mother of two gorgeous girls….just not today and really I am so very okay with that.

I even am excited about Aria being just a tad older so that she can enjoy the beauty of having a baby sister with me, we can share the joy together, versus me running ragged and not enjoying the new babiness and jipping Aria out of her special time, if Aria was a bit older I could talk to her more and she would be able to understand our time together and understand that the baby needs me too and in a perfect world, I wouldn’t be too frazzled to enjoy these moments….cause they pass too quickly and right now I believe India will be my last child, my last newborn baby experience and I want to enjoy every minute